My Columbia Pre-College Experience + Alone ≠ Lonely

Summer 2024 was definitely the summer of growing up. From flying away from home alone for the first time to being able to have the freedom to plan my itinerary every day, I have grown so much through my visit to the US and attending the Columbia pre-college program. In this blog, I hope to share with you everything I’ve learned, both non-academically and academically, to not only give myself closure for what an unforgettable summer it’s been but also hopefully inspire some of you in this self-discovering journey.

Alone in a foreign country

A random morning after going to the gym and on my way to breakfast.

Perhaps the biggest change I’ve experienced last summer was the necessity to adapt to being alone. And I had to do so quick. From flying away from home alone, having to go through customs with all my carefully-labelled documents and settling into the pre-college program, it was strange to no longer have a refuge, which was my parents, to lean back on. In some way, I felt so secure being on campus and in America because even though they weren’t physically with me, my parents and my brother constantly checked in on me to make sure I settled in well. Even my brother, who rarely expresses affection to keep a ‘cool’ image, had messaged me “good luck in Columbia bro”. Yes, it was a big deal for me. It was thanks to my parents’ love, reassurance and hard work throughout the years which landed me in such a situation, and it really dawned on me at that moment how lucky I was, to be able to fly to another country to experience high quality education to the fullest. On my way back to HK, I wrote a note for my parents, where I shared my journey of growth, desire to fight for my place in a big urban city like Hong Kong or NYC and most importantly, I thanked them for everything they’ve provided me. This gratitude card was a long time coming, but this felt like the right opportunity to finally say it.

Building a routine

I’m so thankful of the self-care skills I had developed in my two years of living in a boarding school, so doing things like laundry, maintaining an organized workspace and cleaning my room were all light work. What differed, though, was the level of freedom offered at Columbia: Except dedicated lecture times for four hours each day on weekdays, we had complete control over our schedules and I took full advantage of it. It was the beautiful weather in New York and breathtaking Columbia architecture which got me up early every day for a gym workout before breakfast, savouring every moment as if I was living in a dream. The weather was absolutely perfect and the food… Indeed, it was super expensive and the tipping culture definitely shook me, but lots of the foods I did try lived up to the hype. Clearly, I was living the perfect university life (minus the heavy workload!), which made leaving home seem just that much easier.

What did I study?

As for the course I took, it was called “Globalization: Challenges in International Economics and Politics” with Professor Isabelle Delalex. During the 3-week course, we went over a wide range of ideas and themes, including but not limited to reviewing past histories like the Cold War to a high-anticipated visit to the UN. I especially enjoyed our discussions on the Cold War as it was what I had studied in the IGCSE History course, so I was able to intensively participate in those discussions, even suggesting how the world might be re-experiencing the same communism vs. capitalism debate as seen in the Russo-Ukrainian War. That said, other moments also managed to push me out of my history comfort zone. For example, I had little to no experience in economics, so I had to dedicate more time towards reviewing materials on macroeconomics principles.

A moment which clicked for me was during one of our debate simulations, where various groups took stances from the perspectives of a consumer, local producer and seller. Not only was it fun to consider, rebut and defend from different attitudes, forcing me to critically think, but I think more importantly it made me realize how much I enjoyed interactive classes. Contrasting to the note-taking/drilling style of teaching I had grown used to since studying at a Hong Kong local school and much of it staying the same during my IGCSE years, the course was the few instances where everyone is required to contribute. Consequently, I had to quickly adapt from a mindset of fearing participation (out of embarrassment or something similar) to constantly encouraging myself to ask more questions or provide a different perspective. Staying silent was encouraged in my classes at school, but it now became weird when the class stayed quiet for a prolonged time when I joined the summer course.

I felt that this openness extended beyond the walls of the Columbia campus: Most servers, random students around campus and any social service workers were more than happy to chitchat or help me whenever I needed help. Hence, why soon after returning home, I’ve realized how much more open I am towards chitchatting with strangers or raising new perspectives in class.

Alone does NOT equal lonely.

Although I’m much more comfortable socializing with strangers nowadays and have realized that, honestly… No one cares about you THAT much (except your loved ones), I still think I’m an introvert at heart. I’ve realized that not many people might enjoy going to the gym at 8am in the morning, and it’s okay, so I’ll eat and train alone. No problem! Recognizing my lifestyle and interest differences with others have allowed me to enjoy my own company more, whilst being able to devote my full attention to others when I do spend time with them.

Like I said in the last paragraph, no one cares THAT much, and maybe that’s a good thing. I have so much freedom to do whatever I want and if someone is going to judge me by face value (from one interaction, one phrase or one expression I make), then they’re missing out on the full package. Obviously, this doesn’t mean being rude whenever I like, but certainly it means feeling less conscious about yourself. I still have so much progress to make until I stop making slip-ups in my speech or stop feeling self-consciousness entirely, but I’ve been so grateful to see the wider world beyond my comfort circle.

It’s really embarrassing to say this, but I’ve religiously REFUSED to take public transport growing up in Hong Kong, one of the safest cities in the entire world because figuring out train/bus routes seemed like such a hassle. I would rather sit in an Uber and be stuck in traffic for 45 minutes than to take a train just because the train seemed “dirtier” with less privacy. Now, I realized how ridiculous and arrogant I sound, especially with the developed public transport system Hong Kong is known for. Now, with so many places I want to explore, I prioritize convenience more than anything. Going back to my point about loneliness, I’ve realized that as long as you treat someone with respect and mind your business, the sense of self-consciousness naturally goes away.

Thank you for reading this reflection! It might seem like a long-winded nag but I hope to have provided anyone with a new perspective on loneliness and how to overcome the fear of being alone. This will be a topic I keep coming back to because I hope to empower more people to find confidence in themselves whilst continue using confidence to fuel my future ambitions/challenges.

Thanks for reading, and see you all in a bit.

-Winnie 07/02/2025